Self-care feels unmanly to me.

Im a little bit older now. Being in my late thirties(so weird to actually write that cus I’m still young) I've been conditioned to think that anything associated with self-care is unmanly. So let's explore that.

If you've read any of my writing before you know that for the majority of my life I did not care about skincare much less wellness practices cus hell no I'm a man! lol typical manly reaction right?! I've seen them all. Shit I've used them all.

And then I had a daughter. And as all girl dads can attest to things and perspectives change real fast. When you have a daughter you might end up doing self care nights consisting of baths, face masks and hair treatments all in the name of bonding time. Or even end up starting a business with your significant other revolving around skincare and wellness.

Both of which I've had the pleasure of experiencing. Yet here I am talking about how self-care feels unmanly to me. And yes both things can be true. And my feelings can be valid after all they are my feelings.

I guess the next thing to question is what is manly? And why and I feeling unmanly?

As a girl dad. Whose experiences have to range from protector to nail salon customer how do you differentiate between doing the manly thing of being a great father or doing unmanly things with your daughter because she really wants you to play with her. Hmm.

I still consider myself manly. And I do partake in self-care practices. Which sort of make me feel unmanly but never insecure. I recognize this for what it is. An emotion. It’s not the facts. No matter how strong the feeling is. It's good to recognize how things make us feel. But there's a big difference in feelings things and the truth of things.

I do want to talk about one side of the coin that's probably at the route of why some of us struggle with self-care. We fear being judged. "What are my friends gonna say about this. Oh man the shit talking is never going to end. " is the usual thought that crosses my mind.

Let's put this in a perspective that every man can appreciate. LeBron James spends millions of dollars on his body and wellness. And you're telling me you can't spend a few bucks on your self care because it makes you feel unmanly? Ummm yeah that's exactly right.

We gotta get rid of this type of thinking. It's archaic and it does more damage than good. Sure self-care makes me feel unmanly but that doesn't define me. At the end of the day self-care brings me back to being centered. And that's what self care is all about. It's not so much about the activity you perform but the act of bringing yourself back to center. So fuck all that noise about manly or unmanly. Just take care of yourself whatever that may look like.